United States ex rel. Gerald Mayo v. Satan and His Staff

This week, Satan is brought to justice. Well, sort of – in this case, Gerald Mayo took on not only Satan but his entire staff.

When speculating as to the cause of this case, David suggested that people – multiple people –  were impersonating Satan. However, it wasn’t for their evil deeds that they were sued, according to him. “The government was suing them for not being Satan, because they were trying to  be Satan but they weren’t.” Personally, I’d expect them to be rather relieved.

William believed the case involved a cult. According to him, this cult got a bit too caught up and tried to “take on the Feds.” Not sure how well that would work out.

Colton agreed with William – he thought that cult action was also likely the cause of this case.
“And this cult was being brought to trial for what?” I asked.
“I don’t know – maybe for freaking people out in public.”
“Is it illegal to freak people out in public?”
He’ll get back to me after some careful legal research.

Hannah believed Mayo’s issue with Satan was a bit more personal. “This Mayo guy, he decided to intern in hell for a while. Because he found a way there somehow. But they weren’t paying him fairly, so he said that wasn’t okay. Also, there were rumors going around that he was being bullied – sexual harassment, all that. So he decided to take charge against them.” Good for him for taking action – is there a labor union for that sort of thing?

Well, I suppose Mayo did sue Satan for something similar, in a sense. Mayo filed a claim that Satan had “on numerous occasions caused [him] misery and unwarranted threats.” Additionally, he claimed Satan had planted deliberate obstacles in his path causing his downfall.” Therefore, Mayo said that Satan had deprived him of his constitutional rights.

Additionally, Mayo filed in forma pauperis, meaning the state should waive the costs associated with the lawsuit.

This put the US District Court Judge Gerald J Weber in a difficult position – there was no precedent for cases brought by or against Satan. The court noted that Satan was a foreign prince (is hell a country?). However, they didn’t address whether, if sued as a defendant, Satan could claim sovereign immunity.

However, the Court ultimately refused to proceed in the case because the plantiff had not included instruction on how to serve process on Satan – in general, it seems like finding Satan is a one-way trip.

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